


Different (but Still Home)

by starmelee



Series: Remnants [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Cuddles, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, Recovery and healing, Service Dogs, magnus and lucy are hella close and he cares about her so much, she cares about him too it's just hard to get over some stuff, sibling relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:09:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28496589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starmelee/pseuds/starmelee
Summary: Magnus is sad; it doesn't happen often, but it does happen. So, he does what he was taught and what he's mastered— he asks for help.
Relationships: Magnus Burnsides & The Director | Lucretia
Series: Remnants [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052495
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Different (but Still Home)

**Author's Note:**

> Magnus is next in the order! This is definitely my second favorite fic out of the three of them and is the only one that actually made me wanna cry a little bit. I kind of wanted to make this longer, but I felt like it would have taken away from the point of the fic, which is healing. 
> 
> This was actually a bit of a challenge; I'm kind of a Taako stan, so trying to get inside of Mag's head was a new thing for me. Hopefully it's not too OOC, haha. I might edit it later for pacing's sake, but I just really wanted to post it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, and next up is Merle!

Magnus knows he’s a good guy. In fact, he knows he’s pretty damn wonderful. After Story and Song, he knew his destiny was to help people, but he needed to account for the fact that he was human and could only take so much in one lifetime. So, training dogs seemed like a pretty good step. 

It’s about a year and a half later, a few months after Carey and Killian’s wedding, and he knows that, logically, he can’t keep doing this to himself. And yet, sitting here at his desk are two carvings. Two voidfishes look at him, each carved with the intricacies of the universe on their bells, and he feels the tears well up in his eyes. He knows, he _knows_ that it’s time to let go, but he never got to say goodbye. 

Of course, there are other things that stay with him, but Fisher and Junior are… well, he loves them. And he hopes they’re okay. And not knowing where they are or knowing how they’re doing for sure? It’s kind of killing him. 

Belle, his most intelligent trainee and his first personal dog, pads through the open door and sits at his side, resting her face on his thigh. She’s a somewhat wild young thing, but she does her job well and seems to be really happy to be with him. Magnus sighs and places a hand on her head, running his calloused fingers through her soft fur. 

“I know,” he mutters when she softly barks to catch his attention. “But you never got to meet them, Belle! You would have really liked Fisher when they were little. All full of spirit and happiness and a love of ducks! And we both love ducks, and that’s how I got to meet Fisher in the first place, so I think you two would have gotten along really well.” He’s a bit of a talker, but he’s pretty sure that’s just because talking is one of the things he’s proficient in. But he must also be proficient in crying because he starts to do that too. 

Belle simply moves away from him and pads out of the room, quiet and faithful as ever, and she returns with his stone of far speech. It’s one of the first things he showed her how to do because he knows that getting help is the fastest way to get himself out of this. But as he tries to think of who he should even call, his eyes grow blurrier with tears and his hands shake too much for him to be able to do anything with it. So he sets the stone on his desk and lets Belle pull his sleeve until he’s on the floor. She crawls into his lap and lets him cry into her fur like the good dog she is. 

Eventually, he calms himself down and gives her some good pets for all of her trouble. Once he feeds her dinner (it is getting rather late,) he blows his nose and wipes his face, and then he walks back into his office. 

Lucretia’s never been the best at answering her stone, but Magnus knows it’s been quite some time since he’s called, so she’ll probably answer or get back to him when she notices. Tonight, she picks up after a few rings. 

“Hey Magnus,” she says, and her voice is much smaller than he remembers it ever being, but they do have a lot to talk about so maybe she’s nervous. But Magnus isn’t really prepared for that kind of conversation, and he’s the type to hug it out anyway, so he doesn’t care. 

“Hey Lucy,” his voice is still thick with tears, but he doesn’t care about that, either. “I was wondering if you have time to take out of your busy schedule. I miss you super much, despite everything, and I know you probably haven’t been taking very good care of yourself up on the moon, so it’s about time for a classic Magnus Intervention.” 

Lucretia laughs, quietly, at first, but then she just laughs until the sound is louder and a little looser. More like the Lucy that Magnus knew on the Starblaster. He’s laughing to himself as she calms down, happy that he’s at least brought her a little joy. 

She speaks a little louder now, “Magnus, I would love nothing more than to join you. Actually, I’m being forced to take time off at the moment, so perhaps we can meet up tomorrow?” 

The relief that floods him is instant. “Tomorrow’s great! Wonderful, actually. Would you mind coming for brunch and hanging out for the day? There’s so much stuff around here I’d love for you to see.” He’s excited; Merle came to visit a couple of months ago, right after the wedding, but Taako and Kravitz haven’t seen it yet. Of course, neither has Davenport or Lup or Barry, since they’re all so busy. Angus came to visit at some point, but nothing had really been built like it is now. He needs to call everyone and make plans. Maybe dinner. 

“Sounds wonderful, I’ll see you then. For now, we should both get some rest and I’ll be there at 10:30.” She hangs up and he grins to himself, then smiles down at his stone of far speech. He definitely needs to call everyone else soon.

But for now, Lucy is coming over and he’s excited! The sadness isn’t forgotten, but he’s managed to set it aside while he runs through their walking route for tomorrow in his head.

Belle sits proudly at his side now, seeming pleased with herself at Magnus’s recovery. He chuckles as he stands, giving her head a quick pat as he beckons her to come into his room for the night. There’s something comforting about the weight of a dog in his bed that he never realized he loved until he got his own. 

The next morning, Magnus rises with the sun and practically throws himself into his shower after feeding Belle, his excitement rocking his very mood to the core. Yesterday was hard, but today will be easier. Lucy is going to be around, he gets to show her all the hotspots in Raven’s Roost as well as his dog training place. For the day, he has a couple of the few people he’s hired helping him out by coming in to feed and exercise the dogs when he normally would, himself. Asking for help when he needs it is… well, it’s nice. Not that he doesn’t know that already, but it’s cool to see it in his life despite not fighting much anymore.

He’s out of the shower and shrugging into his normal clothes before he really knows it, and then he patters into the kitchen, considering it carefully. Magnus doesn’t cook. That’s a Taako job. He usually survives on dried rations, bread, and fresh fruit that he buys. So he decides that he has enough time to run over to the bakery for some good pastries before Lucy arrives. Plus, Belle probably needs to go out. 

The walk is nice; the air is still brisk and heavy with dew since the sun hasn’t risen over the peaks yet. Autumn is underway, which means that the sun rises later than he’s used to. Even so, he’s comfortable as he wanders to his destination. There’s a bridge between his home and the place he’s looking for, but it hardly sways as he and Belle wander over it. She’s already in work mode, sticking close to his side and being sure to walk at his pace, but he knows she’s enjoying the exercise, too. 

They arrive just ten minutes later, and the smell of bread and baked goods wafts out to the street from the open door of the bakery. 

“That smells _incredible_!” He announces as he steps in, Belle politely stepping in behind him and making sure to not take up too much space. _Darling Sweets and Treats_ opened up just two months ago, and Hellen Darling and her two partners make some of the best goods he’s ever had. The lady herself is at the counter when he walks in, and he watches her face light up in a smile. 

“Magnus! It’s so good to see you! You’re lucky, we made chocolate chip banana bread this morning,” she winks, knowing full well that Magnus can and _will_ buy every ounce of that bread that he can get his hands on. 

He grins, “I’ll take every loaf you have prepared now. But do you have any like, assorted pastry boxes, or something? I have a guest coming this morning and I’m not quite sure what she’s going to feel like eating today.” 

Hellen nods and gets nine loaves of bread and a basket of pastries assorted for him. She also tosses in a biscuit (“for Belle, when she’s not working.”) She knows he’ll bring the basket back, so she’s willing to part with it for the time being. He offers her the money she’s owed (and maybe an extra gold piece for good measure) and she grins at him as he and Belle leave with their food.

It’s weird. Walking through Raven’s Roost makes him nostalgic, even though it looks so different than it used to. It makes him think of Julia. They used to take morning walks together all the time, arm in arm, and he could never look away from her. She always glowed with beauty, from one sunrise to the next, no matter what. 

He misses her. But he knows she would want him to keep pushing. To do what he wants to do. And he is. (He just feels selfish for wanting her to be proud of him.) 

Magnus makes it home intact, setting his bakery items on his kitchen table while he looks at the clock. It’s twenty past, which means Lucy should be here in ten minutes. Okay. He feeds Belle her biscuit and lets her lay down on the floor to enjoy it. She knows it’s home time so she’s allowed to. 

Ten minutes. His hands shake with jitters as he tries to occupy himself for the time being. He’s just so… well, he’s nervouscited. He wants to see Lucy, but he’s also kind of nervous that he’s going to look at her and be reminded of everything that’s hurt him these past years. Taako and Merle are different, they’re almost like comfort people. He can always be around them and feel completely safe. All of the Starblaster crew used to be like that for him, especially Lucretia, but now it’s almost… weird. Like there’s just something off about them now that makes them fit together differently. 

He misses how it used to be, but wouldn’t change this outcome for the world. Because of the world, really. 

He decides on doing some last-minute cleaning to pass the slowly ticking minutes. The boot prints on his floor and the dust lightly settling onto the shelves don’t really add the ambiance he’s looking for. He’s just finishing up his dusting when there’s a knock at his door. Quickly, he tucks away his supplies and takes a deep breath. He checks himself to make sure he’s properly dressed, he does some jazz hands to get rid of the nervous energy, and he opens the door. Of course, his worries melt away instantly when he sees her face.

“Lucy!” He grins, looking over the form of his friend. She looks tired. Her eyes are sunken in a bit, her wrinkles are a little more prominent, and even though she still has her regal posture, Magnus can see just how heavy the weight she’s carrying is. 

“Magnus, it’s good to see you,” she smiles, and it looks a little too strained for his liking. 

“Come inside, you look like you could use something warm to drink and something good to eat,” he waves her in and closes the door behind him. When he turns, she’s looking around with a softness to her face, and maybe a quirk to her lips, if his perception check is good enough (it is). 

She wanders to the dining room and takes a seat at Magnus’s behest, looking over the breakfast spread with a raised eyebrow. 

He pokes into the room from the kitchen, taking in her expression and deciding to ignore how amused she is for now. “Tea or hot cocoa? Or water, if you’re boring. Coffee, if you’re a maniac.” 

Lucretia laughs, “I know you’re making hot cocoa, and I’ve missed that classic Magnus favorite so I’ll go with it.”

He winks as he ducks back into the kitchen. “So, what have you been up to lately?” The distance between them is negligible because of the wide opening that rests between the two rooms, so the question travels easily enough. 

“Not very much,” she replies. “Well, that might be an understatement, of sorts. You know I’ve been spreading the resources of the organization to keep poor families afloat and to keep communities growing after Story and Song. Most of my efforts are fruitful, but there are some things remaining that I’ve been struggling to get taken care of. Naturally, the others are very good at ensuring I’m delegating responsibility, but I can’t help but want to be hands-on.” 

He nods, then realizes she probably can’t see him from where she’s sitting. “That makes sense,” his mixture of chocolate pieces, cocoa powder, and milk steams slightly, and just like Taako showed him all those years ago, he removes it when it’s wispy. He then pours it into two mugs and walks back into the dining room, setting one in front of her. She nods her thanks and he takes a seat. 

“So what have you been up to?” She sips at her mug with a smile, and Magnus sees some of the tension drop from her shoulders. Maybe she needs this as much as he does.

He cuts himself some chocolate chip banana bread, shrugging. “I mean, I opened my dog school, but you know that. It’s a lot of fun, and a lot of people actually need them more than I thought they would. Hell, I have a dog, myself. Her name is Belle.” He calls her over, and nods to Lucy as permission for Belle to explore their new guest. 

The guest in question looks absolutely _delighted_ as she runs her fingers through the fur on Belle’s head. 

“She’s a good girl. And the one who convinced me to call last night.” He grins, prideful. “One of the best dogs I’ve ever trained, probably. But I got attached too quickly, and you know how that goes,” he scratches his head. 

Lucretia shakes her head, a knowing smile gracing her lips. “Yes, I do seem to remember you having a habit of collecting animals and friends.” 

This time, Magnus laughs. “What can I say, I’m-”

“Magnus if the next word out of your mouth is ‘proficient’ I will throw this croissant at you.” She already has the pastry aimed, ready to fire. 

He puts his hands up, “Okay, you got me! But I _am_ pro-” he gets a faceful of croissant, and it falls perfectly on top of his bread. 

Lucy practically doubles over with laughter at his expression. “I told you I was going to do it! You knew I was going to!” 

She’s always had a contagious laugh, so even though he wants to pretend to be mad, he can’t. They sit there and laugh for quite some time before they’re even able to get down to snickers, and then they take sips of their drinks to calm the aching of their faces. 

“Anyway,” he manages after a couple of seconds of sipping, “I picked all this up fresh this morning, so enjoy. I wasn’t sure if you were still a fan of what you used to like, but there is a blueberry tart in there, just in case. I know this is more breakfast-like than brunch-like, but this is the best of the best in Raven’s Roost.” 

She immediately makes a grab for the tart and a chocolate croissant. Magnus feels warmth spread in his chest: she’s happy. He can see it in her eyes and in her posture, in the way she seems to easily smile to herself at the first bite of her food. He did good. 

So, he lets himself enjoy his breakfast, too, and they eat with minimal interruptions. Once they both finish, he takes the dishes into the kitchen and sets them in the washing basin, guiding her to the living room so they can sit and let the food settle. They've probably been sitting for fifteen minutes or so, the fire Magnus started in the fireplace really crackling with life and warmth, and it's pleasant. They're a little distanced from each other on the couch, but neither of them makes a move to get closer or turn on his fantasy TV.

“Magnus, there’s something-” Lucretia starts, but Magnus cuts her off. 

“Hold on, stop. C’mon, Luce. Just call me Mags. I know this is still kinda weird, but you’re always gonna be Lucy to me, okay? You’re like a sister to me. I don’t wanna see anymore ‘madam director,’ yeah?”

She smiles, but it doesn’t match the wateriness of her eyes. “A-actually, um,” she pauses with a somewhat aggravated sigh, wiping her eyes, “I wanted to talk about that. And I wanted to really apologize for everything that happened. I- I never meant for so much harm to come to anyone, and I know that today is supposed to be happy, but I-” 

“Lucy,” Magnus starts, moving closer to her on the couch. Not so close that she’s trapped, but close enough that the offer of comfort is implicit: there to take if she wants it. “I know you did what you thought was best. Am I kind of confused? Yeah. Am I kind of… stuck, in a way? Yeah. But you did what you thought you needed to do, and it was super fucking brave of you to choose us over yourself. Not admirable, since you practically killed yourself to get here, but it was brave. I… I think my only regret is that I never got to say goodbye to Fisher and Junior. They… they let us save the world but no one really thinks to thank them, you know?” He sees Belle pad softly into the room, and she lays down in front of the fire. She probably knows they’re upset but neither of them needs her.

Lucy nods, subtly moving closer. Their arms are touching, and he feels that she has a chill to her skin despite the fire in the room. 

“I’m sorry, Magnus. Despite your seemingly easy forgiveness, and despite your understanding, I just can’t help but feel so guilty.” 

He chuckles, not amused, but just from the sheer silliness of the thought. “Think about it like this; you let me meet the love of my life. I look forward to the day I get to greet her again, and you gave that to me, Lucy.” Affection floods him at just the thought of his her. “Oh Istus, you should have seen Jules. You two would have gotten along so well. She was just so smart, and she knew her way around a book just as much as she knew her way around a woodworking project.” He knows he’s gushing, but he just hasn’t had a chance to really talk about Julia in so long. “She would have taken one look at you and decided you were the good sort, and she probably would have made fun of me with you, since she liked to tease a lot. And she totally would have talked all smart with you and stuff, just because she could fit in with anyone.” His smile is fond, but sad, and Lucy puts a hand on his arm. 

“She sounds wonderful Mags,” he realizes her voice is thick, and when he looks at her, she has tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m so glad you got to have that.” 

“Me too,” he wraps an arm around her, and she leans against him immediately. It feels different, but it’s comfortable; familiar in a way that he knows is like home. “But Lucy, you let me have that. And I… I’m so _grateful_.” He feels the tears building in his eyes, too. One drips down his cheek, but he ignores it. “I’m so grateful you gave me the time to meet her, to know her. And that’s why I’ll never be upset with you for what happened. It was the best time of my life.” 

She sniffs against his chest and nods, and he buries his fingers in her hair, massaging her stiff neck. Most of her is hard angles and stiffness, but she’s always been like that in some way or another. He just wants her to feel comfortable. To feel safe. 

“Thank you, Magnus. I mean it,” she whispers. 

“Thank you, too, Lucy.” He presses a kiss to her forehead and decides to give her a tour another day. They’re better suited to some one-on-one time, for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Please comment/give kudos if you like this fic! It means a lot to me when people show me they like my work, and it really does help get the creative process going. S/o to everyone who comments, bookmarks, and gives kudos on my fics; you guys absolutely fucking rock. And for those of you subscribed to the series, I hope you really enjoy the rest of what I have planned!


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